This is not consent. Armie Hammer must be stopped.

When I began writing about the Armie Hammer allegations via Medium and then Mamamia, I hoped it wouldn’t become part of a series. I had faith that he would have been held accountable by now.

But just like many privileged white men in Hollywood, that hasn’t happened yet.

Over the past week, more survivors (side note: I think it’s important that we now call these women survivors and not ‘victims’) have come forward, including his most recent ex-girlfriend, 22-year-old influencer, content creator and design student Paige Lorenze.

Lorenze bravely shared details of her relationship with Hammer. Including being coerced into consent, manipulated, and being branded with an ‘A’ near her private parts with a sharp knife, unable to stop him before she realised what he was doing.

Today, she has shared even more startling details, including Hammer illegally sending intimate photos of herself to others. Lorenze also notes that she had no knowledge that the photos were being taken — again, this is illegal.

We need to distinguish the difference between consent and sexual coercion. Consent is a ‘yes’, not obtained through manipulation techniques, uncomfortable persuasion or exploiting someone who is vulnerable, it’s a clear ‘yes’.

Sexual coercion is much darker and sinister than this. This is a tactic used by abusers and can involve being tricked, manipulated, pressured or forced into giving consent. Some examples might be that they’re promising some sort of commitment, guilt-tripping you, or even grooming you without you noticing it.

The Daily Mail, who was one of the first publications to share Lorenze’s story, features horrid comments from people such as, “So you were willing to let him do it, and allowed him to do it? You’re as bad as he is.”

This is incorrect. Anyone using this as their argument to vilify Lorenze is missing one very important detail — her story is one of sexual coercion.

She notes that she was already feeling vulnerable prior to meeting Hammer after getting out of a difficult long-term relationship. He knew this. She was new to Los Angeles, Lorenze would have been feeling nervous and overwhelmed by the move. Again, he knew this. In videos via her Youtube channel, she talks about feeling lonely. He knew very well that she didn’t have a support system in the city. During their relationship, Lorenze faced unwarranted and repulsive abuse from his fans via Twitter and Instagram. He. Knew. This.

Hammer, twelve years her senior, saw Lorenze as the perfect candidate for his skewed and ill-informed BDSM games and took advantage of a confident young woman hopeful about starting fresh in a new city. He groomed her with his charm and convinced Lorenze, new to BDSM, that what he was doing was standard practice — it wasn’t.

For anyone who still thinks this is a case of simple consent, imagine if Lorenze was your friend, your cousin, your sister, or even your daughter and she bravely opened up to you about her harrowing experience with a man like Hammer — would you still say that she was the one to blame? That she gave consent and it’s her fault for ‘allowing’ him to do the things that he did?

I think we know the answer to that. It’s always different when it’s someone you love and care about, isn’t it?

Not only does Hammer need to finally face the consequences for the abuse he has inflicted upon the women who have come forward and those too afraid to speak out, but we also need to make sure he never hurts another woman again.