The Armie Hammer Saga: a victim of kink-shaming or a monster?

Hollywood actor Armie Hammer has never hidden his appetite for all things kink. Recently in an interview with Netflix promoting his film Rebecca, he admitted that his ideal dinner date would be the controversial and contentious philosopher Marquis de Sade — notoriously known for his rabid erotic writings related to sexual cruelty and sadism.

It’s been a busy twelve months rocked by constant headlines, mainly due to his impending messy divorce to television personality and entrepreneur Elizabeth Chambers, as well as his very active dating life. There have also been scandals, including a DM leak in July 2020, featuring a risqué exchange with a Russian woman (@dominastya on Instagram). With the DMs quickly being deleted from most places on the internet and the exchange remaining buried under an array of other celebrity mishaps — something that’s easy to do when you’re as rich and well-connected as Hammer — all was forgotten about the scandal.

That was until this week, with the 34-year-old once again being exposed for sexual misconduct. This time for his extramarital relationship with @houseofeffie, who courageously came forward with gruesome and startling evidence accusing him of manipulation, abuse, gaslighting and lying to her. The validity of the DMs has not only been backed by the woman herself but also his previous romantic partners, including Jessica Ciencin Henriquez via Twitter and Courtney Vucekovich via an exchange with prominent gossip Instagram-based account Deuxmoi, as well as previous whistleblower @dominastya.

The exchanges posted by Effie are harrowing — at the beginning, she shared screencaps implying Hammer and herself were involved in a kink-based dom/sub relationship, where the conversations between both parties weren’t too eyebrow-raising, and for Hammer, the only issue would have been that he was sending sexual messages to a woman other than his wife. In one of the screencaps, he dubbed Effie “the Michael Phelps of Fucking”. In another, he says, “Your naked body is a fucking sculpted piece of art / They would crave marble after it if you lived in the renaissance”.

But then things took a much darker turn. Subsequent messages saw Hammer describe a sexual experience he supposedly had with Effie. The DM said, “Raping you on your floor with a knife against you. Everything else seemed boring / You crying and screaming, me standing over you. I felt like a god. I’ve never felt such power or intensity.”

There are also alleged threats made by Hammer where he expresses his displeasure with Effie after she contemplated reaching out to his wife. This threat was made over a year before she made contact with Chambers. “Well, very convenient of you to bring that up because if for some reason something goes wrong and my wife finds out I will probably remove your head from your body.” This isn’t the only threat made by Hammer towards Effie during their relationship.

Consensual non-consent sex is a style of BDSM play where participants consent to sexual acts that mimic those that are non-consensual. This could include the use of bondage (the Japanese bondage technique Shibari is something Hammer openly enjoys as evident from his Instagram likes and the #shibari tag that he follows), pretending to torture or rape participants, or sex taking place during sleep or an unconscious state. Safewords are then used to stop whatever activity is taking place when a participant is no longer feeling comfortable.

Let's just say Hammer and Effie were participating in consensual non-consent sex and were following all the protocols and consent was provided, including safewords and respecting boundaries, would that mean Hammer is the monster he is being portrayed as or just a victim of kink-shaming?

According to Effie’s Instagram stories, she notes that Hammer never used safewords. She felt pressured to give consent due to his influence and dominance. Effie was only a mere twenty-years-old when the relationship began. There are also horrific images posted on her Instagram suggesting Hammer choked her with a belt and provided no aftercare. It’s important to note that she did not provide consent to have Hammer choke her with a belt. She also admits to being ghosted often after sexual experiences, left to treat her own scars alone — both physically and mentally.

Calling Hammer out for his rape fantasies, threats of torture and cannibal tendencies isn’t kink-shaming a man who describes his interests as “niche” in an uncovered recording of Hammer posted by the Instagram account @switch_ga, where he discusses the previous DM scandal from July 2020. Labelling your sexual preferences and experiences as niche or kink doesn’t give participants permission to avoid accountability when they cross boundaries.

Fetishes are okay, but only when they’re ethical and participants aren’t made to feel uncomfortable or manipulated before, during or after the encounter. Too many men (especially influential men) have gotten away with exploiting their sexual encounters with women by using the ‘their-kinks-are-niche’ card or going beyond what was consented to originally.

By dismissing the criticism targeted towards Hammer as kink-shaming is disrespectful to the brave women who have come forward and shared their stories. Not only do these women admit that they felt uncomfortable during and shortly after their various sexual encounters with him, but their mental health has also deteriorated immensely since, even years after their relationships ended with Hammer, which Effie elaborates on via her Instagram account.

This can’t be swept under the rug again. Twitter may be inundated with memes making fun of Hammer’s apparent fetishes, but those who continue to make light of Effie’s story are giving him what he wants — he wants you to dismiss the pain of these women and turn him into a meme.

Armie Hammer must be held accountable for the emotional and physical suffering he has caused the fearless women who have come forward and that has to happen now.

Please note: I will not post the screencaps from Effie’s account, but head over to her Instagram account to view them.